Vocation
This past Sunday night I was ordained at Grandview Christian Church. It came as a surprise to many people because they assumed I was already ordained, having graduated from seminary years ago and involved in ministry for much longer. Life just didn’t take the path that I expected or planned for, and it seems that it rarely does.
A short twenty-five years ago I was studying chemical engineering at Oklahoma State University, executing a plan I had crafted over my entire high school career. This path combined my love for chemistry and mathematics and directed them toward solving some of the world’s biggest problems. Classes and projects were moving along well until fall break during my sophomore year in college while on a retreat with the Navigators campus ministry. I was sitting in a workshop and heard a clear voice that said, “You don’t have to be an engineer.” I looked around to see who was speaking and discovered that it didn’t come from anyone in the room. Disturbed, I got up and left the room and went for a walk to unpack the experience.
When I returned that weekend I called my parents to let them know that I was considering leaving OSU, but I didn’t know where to go other than having a clear call into ministry. After much prayer and many conversations with trusted mentors, family, and friends, I decided to leave Oklahoma and enroll at Atlanta Christian College (now Point University) with all the confidence and specificity of a declared “Pre-Seminary” major. I didn’t know where it would lead me, but at least I knew that much.
It was this decision that truly changed everything for me, giving me the confidence to be open and obedient to the prompting of the Holy Spirit in my life. I’ve made many big changes and taken some even larger risks without having things all planned out. All I know is that next step. If I am faithful and obedient in this one step, then I am confident that the Holy Spirit will continue to work in an around me to reveal where the next one leads.
Beginning Interyear Fellowship has undoubtedly been the greatest risk. The investment is larger, more people are involved, I’m not quite sure where it is all leading, but I know that it is right. Something about this is in harmony with who I am, in who I am becoming. It’s this continual process of discernment that should guide each of us and help us to examine our lives because we’re never finished.
I’m grateful that you’re along on this journey with us. You inspire, support, and encourage us, but I pray that you also hold us accountable. Help us to do our best to invest in the lives of young adults who are honestly seeking God’s will in their life. It’s a wild ride, often filled with pain and uncertainty, but it leads to some of the greatest joy.
I often lift up Thomas Merton’s prayer during times of uncertainty in my own life. I hope it can help you along your path, too.
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore, I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.